My Favourite DJ On Radio 2

 

My favourite DJ on Radio 2

is Northern and wacky and looks 32.

Her humour is silly and witty and mad,

when she isn't on air, I feel pretty sad.

She's a model, presenter, and all her fans know,

she was the best choice for Chris Evans' show.

My favourite DJ on Radio 2

is funny, from Bolton, and looks 32.


 

Mark J Williams

 

Mark’s the Welsh wonder, a potting machine.

He’s the greatest left hander that there’s ever been.

He continues to win, is on top of his game,

has twenty one ranking events to his name.

He’s a coach now in SightRight and deems it a dream.

He’s a triple world champ who’s still big on the scene.

Mark’s the Welsh wonder, a potting machine.

He’s the greatest left hander that there’s ever been.

Tipping Point

 

Tipping Point's great for its arcade fun.

I feel like I'm back at the sea-side.

Ben Shephard's the best host there is barring none.

I cheer when the counters fall flat and don't ride.

I hope that ten thousand pounds will be won.

Tension and thrills are always supplied.

Ben's kindness and warmth just can't be outdone.

This is a show I can't cast aside.

Ben Shephard's the best host there is barring none.

I cheer when the counters fall flat and don't ride.

Tipping Point's great for its arcade fun.

I feel like I'm back at the sea-side.

 

 

An Ode To Soccer Saturday

 

 

Jeff Stelling

keeps telling

us Hartlepool rule,

whilst Thommo exclaims

there’s only one ‘Pool.

 

Le Tiss can’t believe

the free-kick that's been,

whilst Merse wants to curse

the passes he's seen,

 

Stelling keeps hoping that

Hartlepool score,

whilst Charlie and Merse

want an Emirates roar.

 

Will the Kop cheer?

Will a beach ball appear?

Are the Saints marching on?

The time’s nearly gone.

 

‘There’s been a red card.

The ref got it wrong?’

But will Chris Kamara

know what’s going on?

 

Charlie can hardly

be heard through the noise,

as there is a shout of  ‘Goal’

from the boys.

 

Drama, excitement,

nails being bitten.

Fans getting nervous all

across Britain.

 

Football’s not football

without shouting reports.

Saturday’s not Saturday without

the lads from Sky Sports!

The King Of The Crucible

Hendry kept winning and winning and winning.

Seven times world champion, his rivals weren’t grinning.

His long pots were stunning. His pot success great.

Eleven times he made a maximum break.

 

Thirty Six titles in ranking events.

He’d win with attack or win with defence.

A legend from Scotland with an MBE.

He’s one of the greatest that there’ll ever be.

I Aim For The Twenty But Hit The MC

 

I aim for the twenty, but hit the MC.

I'm doubting that darts will launch me to fame.

It must be bad luck. How tough can it be?

I aim for the twenty, but hit the MC.

I can't let it get the better of me.

I work hard in practice then play the next game.

I aim for the twenty, but hit the MC.

I'm doubting that darts will launch me to fame.
 

                                  Milton Jones

 

Milton Jones was 50 percent the title of a song by Bananarama.

‘Milton Jones Hopscotch Warrior’ would make a wonderful new ITV drama.

Milton Stones could be related to the footballer John.

‘Milton Mowbray’ on pork pies is when spelling goes wrong.

 

MILTON JONES happens when you type it in caps.

Stilton Jones stinks like one of his cats.

Milton Loans is a fake lender of cash.

Molten Jones died in volcanic ash.

‘New Milton' Jones is well known in that town.

Old Milton Jones keeps watching Countdown.

'Milton Tom Jones' is a poor tribute act,

but Milton's 3rd Grandfather did not react.

 Milton’s health products are sterile and soft.

Milton Jones never wrote ‘Paradise Lost!’

Milton Friedman defended all greed.

‘Milton Keynes Junior’ – Is that what we need?

Milton Jones makes me laugh all the time,

but I bet he is glad it’s the end of this rhyme!

The Chase

 

Bradley’s the driver

of this brilliant show,

steering each quizzer

as they gladly go

up against chasers

(but not those you drink);

the genius kind

who constantly think.

Wowing with knowledge

from battles to seas,

impressing us all

with their quiz expertise.

 

The chasers keep changing.

Who is it today?

Whoever it is

wants contestants to pay.

 

It could be Shaun Wallace

(who knows all the laws)

and has many nicknames

such as ‘Grumpy Jaws.’

 

There’s a governess, a vixen,

a doctor, a beast;

answering quick

so the gap can decrease.

Will they or won’t they

leave rivals bereft?

Sometimes they catch them

with one second left.

 

Whatever occurs,

my tea-time's been shaken,

by the show that I know

can’t be over-taken!

Scarlett Moffatt, You're A Star

An Ode To Matt Edwards

 

 On Britain’s Got Talent  

 Matt wowed the nation,  

 as his magic and charm  

 was an awesome sensation.

 

 His tricks were unique.  

 His comedy fresh.  

His hard work and skills  

 deserved great success.

 

 (We once worked together  

 with dancers and singers,  

 and though Matt was a star  

 I read rhymes of Fish Fingers!)

 He loves to do dice tricks,  

 and tricks with Tequila.  

 His likeable style means  

 he’s a public appealer.

 

 ‘Meow’ is his catchphrase.  

 He wowed Ant and Dec.  

 The judges all loved him.

 His future is set.

 

 Matt, you are magic.  

 I wish you the best.  

 I hope that you go on  

 to greater success!  

Scarlett Moffat

has got it -

from glamorous Brit

to Gogglebox wit,

or celebrity grit.

(It won't be too long until

she sings a smash hit!)

She's from Bishops Auckland,

(A proud market town.)

where the people are sound

and won't let you down.

Her humour delights,

and she's warm and she's bright.

Her hosting of Streetmate

was always first rate.

She's just got a book out

called 'Sofa, So Good.'

Do I think you should buy it?

Of course, yes you should.

Scarlett's charisma

can't fail to impress.

I wonder what projects

she's working on next?