I TRIED TO BUY YOU FLOWERS

 

I tried to buy you lilies

but I couldn't see it through,

so ran off to Ann Summers

for a naughty toy or two.

I tried to buy you orchids

but I felt a little shy,

so left to buy some Vaseline,

and products from KY.

I tried to buy you daisies

but I came out in a rash,

so ran off to the sex shop

for a little 'porno' stash.

I tried to buy you roses

but I blushed and went bright red,

so rushed off to the chemist

for some Durex packs instead.

I tried to buy you flowers

but I never had much luck.

At least I've got the other things,

if we want to have a ...flipping good night in.