Miles and miles from Services,

waiting for a tow.

There's never any toilets when you really need to go!

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Listening to wedding vows,

or going for a hike.

At times you need the toilet when the moment isn't right.

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The parachute won't open.

You're screaming 'No, no, no!'

There's never any toilets when you really need to go!

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Pitching to the Dragon's,

or in a twitter fight,

(and beating Katie Hopkins), now the timing isn't right!

You meet the local gangster

who wants the cash you owe.

There's never any toilets when you really need to go!

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You have to give a sample

at the Doctor's, and you see,

a corridor of toilets

when you just don't want to wee!

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